This Journey Called Marriage - Day 6

This Journey Called Marriage - Day 6

5 Steps to Becoming One

Yesterday I shared a story about how my husband and I had assumptions and expectations based on our family of origins that led us to approach vacationing in two different ways. This created a divide in our relationship. So we had to figure out a way for our family to vacation.

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This Journey Called Marriage - Day 5

This Journey Called Marriage - Day 5

So how do two separate people become one?

Well of course there is the obvious that happens through intimacy in the one flesh relationship. And there is also the reality of developing a new family. And that means embracing traditions, celebrations, habits, communication styles we agree on.

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The Journey Called Marriage - Day 4

The Journey Called Marriage - Day 4

Why Creating a New Family Is Critical

Ever hear of “The Wedding Song”? Paul Stookey of Peter, Paul, and Mary wrote and first sang this song at bandmate Peter Yarrow’s wedding back in 1969. My sisters and I sang this song at weddings for many years, including our own.

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This Journey Called Marriage - Day 3

This Journey Called Marriage - Day 3

Dialoguing - A Powerful Tool for Communicating Clearly

One of the things I’ve learned in our almost 32 years of marriage is the importance of clear and ongoing communication. So much can derail the best of intentions – the demands of work, raising children, Bible study, volunteer commitments, writing (or trying to), the house, the meals. We all get it, right? Life is busy!

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This Journey Called Marriage - Day 2

This Journey Called Marriage - Day 2

Preparing for Marriage

I had high hopes for our Marriage Prep weekend. We were joining about 15 other couples for a few days that would be like a private little bubble, removed from the hubbub and stress of planning a wedding and solely devoted to getting to know one another better. I imagined...

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This Journey Called Marriage

This Journey Called Marriage

Love Is a Decision - Let's Start with That

We’ve been married 31 years, 32 in November. I suppose this could be a source of pride. After all, we’ve been able to “accomplish” what many cannot. But I’m not proud…I’m humbled. I’m grateful. I didn’t have good role models of marriage…at least not in my home. 

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Do You Think You're the Prize?

I was the chaperone on an 8th grade trip to Williamsburg, Virginia, and Washington, D.C. You can imagine the scene…Three big busses full of loud, excited, hormonal teens rumbling over highway and byway, and me, one of the few “lay” chaperones, along with a few teachers. I wasn’t at all interested in watching Ace Ventura on the bus monitors, so I happily plugged myself into a series from one of my favorite bible study teachers, Joyce Meyers The Triumphant Marriage was the topic.

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I Want to Say Yes to His Call

I Want to Answer This Question with My Life

The problem is I don't always hear His voice. And right now I'm not sure what He's calling me to. 

I don't like the unknown. But that's where I am. It's a bit of a waiting place. I have been blessed with certainty in the past. I have known for sure that I was hearing God and I knew what He was saying. Not so right now. 

I shared this with a few friends recently. I feel like my life has been torn up into pieces and the pieces are fluttering down. I'm asking God to be clear about which of those pieces falling to the ground He wants me to pick up. I'm just not sure lately. I'm releasing it all to Him. Many facets of my life - What I do...Who I do it with...Where I do it? 

I know God will answer. I know He will have an assignment for me. My friends described the pieces of paper as confetti. I'll take it. One day it will be a celebration of me knowing that it is I He will send...and I will answer with a resounding "Send me!"

Until then, I'll just have to trust that God knows my beginning from my end. And in the middle, I have to believe. Oh God, help me in my unbelief. 

How about you? What's your story? Where are you on the journey? Do you hear God? Where does He want to send you?

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Now Is The Perfect Time to Dare to Dream

This Is for the Dreamer-In-Denial Who Thinks God-Sized Dreams Are for Someone Else



* Do you dare to dream? Or do you think dreams are something only the really brave ones do? Or the extraordinary ones? Or the fools?

Today’s the day we’re staking claim to our dreams. <== Click to Tweet

It’s time to STOP:

Making excuses.

Judging your dream.

Looking at her dream.

Pushing down your dreams.

Brushing off your dreams.

Today’s the day to explore your dream. To name it and claim it. If that scares you, that’s okay. Do it anyway.

So what does your dream look like?

  • Is it something small and quiet? Something others may not even perceive if it comes true?
  • Is it huge and wild? An out-of-the-box idea that will forge a new path for you, for me, and maybe even for the world?
  • Is it a daydream? Something that creeps into the shadows as you let your mind wander?
  • Is it an idea or vision created in your imagination that does not seem real?
  • Is it new? Or something you have wanted very much to do, be, or have for a long time?

Today’s the day to stop denying yourself a good God-sized Dream.

You are worthy. You are chosen. You are called by God Himself to a purpose, a calling, a dream that He has planted only in you. If you don’t know what that is…then today I invite you, I ask you, I dare you to discover your dream. Just take a few little steps. Just start.

Start here and make a note of your answers:
What do you love to do?

What is the secret yearning that you wouldn’t dare share?

What have people always said about you? Asked of you? Appreciated about you?

What is unique, quirky, fun, different about you?

What are your Spiritual Gifts? (If you don’t know, you could take this FREE test here!)

Now give yourself the luxury of a few minutes to dream.
  • Get a cup of coffee or tea. Curl up in your cozy chair or lie down for a few minutes on your comfy couch. Grab your favorite throw. Do whatever it takes to relax, to give yourself space and time.
  • Take five deep breaths. Breathe in to the count of five and out to the count of seven. Release the tension in your body and the To-Do list, the distractions in your mind.
  • Invite God in. He is the author of your dreams. He is the Way of your dreams. He is the One who knows you and loves you more than you can imagine.
  • Go for it! Dream…
    • What do you want to do?
    • Where do you want to be?
    • What do you think you were made for?
    • If there were no obstacles – no fear, no financial hurdles, no time limits, no impossibilities, no naysayer (inside of you or outside of you) – what is your God-sized Dream?
  • Give yourself 10 minutes to think about this (or more if you have the time).

Record your dream.

Get your journal, a notebook, start a folder, have Siri take a note, leave yourself a voice memo. It doesn’t have to be a novel, a few bullet points will do.

Now determine one step you can take toward your dream.
Just one step. That’s it. That’s how you begin.

You are now on your dream journey. Keep taking one achievable step after the next. You’ll face resistance. Your dream may change. Your dream may stall. Keep giving your dream space and time…always bringing it to God in prayer.

Just remember and believe with God by your side, all things are possible! (His Word, not mine)

I invite you to share your dream in the comments. I’d love to pray for you!


* I thought this post might be helpful for this New Year. It first appeared at God-Sized Dreams, where I have the privilege of being a contributing author. Check out the site for lots of dreaming inspiration and encouragement. 

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 14

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 14



A Letter to My Younger Self*


Dear Younger Self,
I’m sorry you’re so frazzled! I can see you put a lot of pressure on yourself. And when you do that, you get so stressed…and I know you definitely don’t mean to do this, but that stress? It overflows onto your children and your husband too. I know you feel inadequate. I know you feel imperfect in every way. I know you feel disappointed in yourself. You had such high hopes for the picture-perfect home, kids, and marriage. You thought you were going to be able to do everything well. I guess because you had so much chaos growing up, you were determined to make your home the peaceful happy haven you had so wished you had.

Well here’s the bad news…there is no such thing as perfect.
Oh there is intentional. There is pretty darn good. There are days you will get “it” right. The kids will play beautifully, you’ll all get out to the park for some fresh air and fun, you’ll tick everything off your To Do list for the day, finish a few loads of laundry, and the kids will even help you match socks. At the perfect hour, the family will sit down to a nutritious healthy dinner that everyone loves. And you’ll even get the kids bathed, read to, and tucked in at precisely the “right” time. But this just might be the exception.

And the good news…It’s okay!
You are doing the best you can and your heart is full of love. Your house might be a little messy, but really? Who cares? Your friends just want to enjoy a little friendship amidst the rough and tumble of mothering. So swing open wide your door and say welcome, no matter the mess. Sure, keep trying. Make your lists. Plan your life. Have your goals. But when you don’t meet your own high standards, when you find yourself comparing yourself to your seemingly perfect bff, when you end your day falling asleep on your toddler’s bed before you’ve finished reading their bedtime story…take a deep breath. 

Give yourself a break. 
Smile and say a few words of encouragement to yourself. Whisper a little prayer. Think about a few things you’re grateful for. Extend grace and love to yourself. That way you’ll be able to give your kids a full measure of the one thing that covers a multitude of flaws…your beautiful messy lavish love. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">



*I am now officially an older woman. I've lived 57 years. I've been married 31 years. I have four mostly grown children, I have one son-in-love, and I'm a grandmother. I am honored and delighted to serve as a Mentor Mom at our local MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. I hope that some of what I've learned on this journey called life can ease the stress of a younger mom who is in the thick of raising kids and navigating the sometimes choppy waters of married life. MOPs is an awesome ministry that serves young moms, usually once a month with a morning out for breakfast, fellowship with other moms, a speaker, and there is even babysitting. Among the materials for equipping the MOPs Steering team is a book for Mentor Moms published by MOPs. The above letter written by me was featured in this book for the 2015-16 season. 

Photo Courtesy of MOPs.org

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 13

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 13


How Busyness Led Me to a Life Coach



My heart thumped. My mind raced. My thoughts were like an assault, firing item after item on my To Do list. I was overcome. I had so much to do!!!

I sought clarity, but confusion was my constant companion as I made categories – home, work, social, physical, emotional, financial – and lists within those categories trying desperately to get control of my schedule and get it all done.

The biggest problem of all was the self-loathing, guilt, and shame I felt.

What was I doing here again? How had I backed myself into such a corner of “too busy to think straight”? What was the matter with me? Shoulda…woulda…coulda…

I had created a mess with too many “yesses” that should’ve been “nos.”

The only way out seemed to be through. I had to just put my head down and do the next thing. I had to keep checking items off “the list.” Try to live my life according to my carefully calculated calendar. Stay up late weeknights working and keep right on going through the weekends in what seemed a never-ending cycle of work, work, and more work.  

I knew I couldn’t go on like this!


Once this season was over, it was time to re-evaluate. I was losing my joy. Going through the motions. I had lost sight of my purpose and passion. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">

Continue Reading...over at CirclesOfFaith.org

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 12

31 Days of Life Coaching – Day 12


My Big Breakthrough


At one point recently, I had had enough. I was too busy and as result I was stressed out, worn down, and weary. I felt distant from God, my family, my friends, myself even! I knew I had to do something. I had been in this pattern before and here I was again.

I talked to my awesome life coach. And we uncovered this lie:
I believe that what I do, not who I am, is what makes me worthy of being a part of a group or having friends or being loved. In other words, I have to earn my sense of belonging. If I don't serve a particular purpose, then I can believe I’m useless and unworthy of love.

This lie caused me to say yes to too many things…many of them good things. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">

However, the good robs from the best. And since there are only so many hours in each day, I want my day to be the best it can be, which means I’m spending time on the non-negotiables, on the things I must do, most want to do, and am uniquely qualified to do or called to do.

I had to take intentional time to think about this particular lie that motivated my busyness, because I wanted to make a lasting change. I didn’t want to keep repeating the busyness cycle. So I wrote down the lie: I believe that my worth comes from being available to, pleasing, and serving others. I made time to further reflect on this lie to go a little deeper and beyond the obvious. Where did the high value on doing come from?

This process of thinking through helped me take a giant step toward a breakthrough. A breakthrough that surprised me…

I got off the phone after my coaching call encouraged that I was making the connection between the lie that doing made me valuable and the overcommitment, and yesses that ultimately led to the “scurrying” life.

As I stood looking in the mirror, getting ready for the day, I was asking questions of myself and hoping for further insight. The “conversation” went something like this.

Hmmmmmmm…Someone must’ve communicated this “I am what I do message” early on in my life. This thinking is clearly deep rooted.

Maybe it was Dad. He had a very strong work ethic. Believed in working as hard as we could, getting good grades, achieving in the workplace. Certainly, when I reported success, he was very pleased. But he also communicated unconditional love. There was a sense that he loved me no matter what I did or didn’t do.

On the other hand…What about Mom? Mom? Really? She was seemingly so uninterested in our successes and failures. She wasn’t overtly concerned about grades. In fact she seemed neither thrilled with our achievements nor devastated by our failures. And most of the time, she didn’t even know what any of us did on the work front.

But the light bulb went on. In fact it burned brightly…

It was my mother who had communicated the lie that my worth was in my ability to serve, to show up, to be there for her. And that translated into my belief that in order to have connection, be loved, or be seen, I had to work for it. Be available. Please. Meet expectations. Wipe the countertops perfectly. Keep my room spotless. Talk my mother through her failing marriage. Be a counselor of sorts to Mom during the tough times. Be there for her. Love and forgive no matter what she said or didn’t say. I found a way to connect with my mother by striving, working, doing things to please her and meet her needs.

With this newfound realization, the lie was exposed on a deeper level. And I’ve had a much easier time trusting that I am loved just for being me. That I can say no and true friends will still be my friends…and in fact my “no” may open up a “yes” opportunity for someone else. I’ve realized that “scurrying” to please leaves me rundown, and giving my life margin for rest and writing renews, refreshes, rejuvenates me.

This a process. I still have a tendency to say yes, people please, and the need to be included is indeed deep rooted. But I am working on this. It’s out in the open, in the light, and this breakthrough is leading me one giant step closer to living my best life, the life I so want to live.

Coaching Question for Today
If you’ve uncovered a lie, try digging a little deeper. What’s at the root of that lie?



Let’s Get Started!

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 11

31 Days of Life Coaching – Day 11



How to Exchange Lies for Truth – Part 2


A couple of days ago I talked about lies we believe. Identifying lies and replacing them with truth is life changing. So I think the topic deserves time and attention. And, since I am a Christian, and since my life coaching training is built on a Christian perspective, I believe the Truth of God's Word can be tremendously powerful in refuting lies.

I had a friend who spent a month recording the lies she believed and the corresponding Scriptural truth. She took a yellow legal pad with her wherever she went. On one half of the paper she wrote the lie as she became aware of it, on the other half she wrote The Truth from God's Word. This is an exercise worth our time and effort. Whether you spend a month concentrating on lies and truth, or you make this an ongoing process, this is an extremely valuable exercise. Lest we forget, The Truth can set us free!

Here are some examples of exchanging our lies for God's Truth: <--click a="" to="" tweet="">

Lie: Nobody really loves me.

Truth: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
 -----
Lie: I am fat...ugly...unattractive...different...not as _________ as others (fill in your lie).

Truth: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
 -----
Lie: How could all this bad stuff happen to me? God is clearly not paying attention. I'm sure He's forgotten me!

Truth: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
 -----
Lie: God doesn't care about me. He has far more important things to worry about.

Truth: Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7
 -----
Try identifying the lies you’re believing. Record them. Then challenge them. Go to God’s Word to find the Truth. Bible Gateway is a great tool for this https://www.biblegateway.com/. Or you can just Google simple searches like, “What does the Bible say about God’s love?” You’ll find the Internet has great resources.


Coaching Question of the Day
What lie are you believing? What Truth can you find to refute your lie in God’s Word?


Let’s Get Started!
Click here for a FREE ½ hour Coaching Consultation by Phone.






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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 10

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 10



Are You Ready for a Change?

Here’s How Coaching Can Help You Reach Your Goals


As a Life Coach, I love helping you go from where you are to where you want to be. Maybe you need a breakthrough. Or you’re stuck. Or maybe you’re going through many of life’s transitions – from full-time career woman to stay-at-home mom, or you’re changing careers, or facing an empty nest, or you’re just thinking there is more to life than the one you’re living.

I’ve been there and worked with a Life Coach myself. She helped me focus in on areas of my life that needed a tune-up. I put in the time and effort and made a conscious decision to change and she propelled me on the path toward living a more peaceful and joyful life. Now I want to help you do the same.

Coaching is a personal individualized journey that’s as unique as you are. <==Click To Tweet

Most sessions are done by phone. Each session is 45 minutes and includes Coaching Notes and Action Steps as a follow up to the phone call.

There is no one-size-fits-all plan. But I’ve found there are 4 As of Coaching that have proven effective time and time again:

Assessment - What does your life look like today? What’s working and what isn’t? What areas of your life are out of balance? Where are you stuck? Is something in your life out of whack? Where are you dissatisfied? What about your life is most satisfying? In order to know where you want to go, we have to start with where you are.

Action – Knowing our goals is the first step, getting there takes small steps that add up to big changes. So we’ll set SMART goals. These are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Reachable, and Timely goals. As you step toward achieving your goals, the process of change is set in motion. Moving forward toward the best life you can live is exhilarating and exciting!

Accountability – You don’t have to go it alone! Have you ever set a goal only to forget about it within a few days? Or talked yourself out of a goal because it just seems too hard? As a life coach, I am your personal accountability partner. I’ll help you hang in there until the change you so desire happens. I’ll encourage you, cheer you on, and challenge you too. And when you come up against obstacles, together we’ll identify patterns, beliefs, and perspectives that could prevent you from moving forward. There will be no stopping you!

Achievement – Ta Da! Time to celebrate. You’ve made the investment in you. You’ve put in the time and effort, you’ve stayed the path, and YOU have reached your goals. You have moved forward on the path of living the life you were meant to live – a life of purpose, passion, and intentionality that’s uniquely yours.

What are you waiting for? 

Sign up for a FREE ½ Hour Coaching Consultation.
Take One Giant Step Toward Living the Life You Were Meant to Live!




photo credit: IMG_4160 via photopin (license)

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 9

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 9


Sometimes You Need a Day of Real Rest

Not too much to say about this...In this very much what-you're-worth-is-what-you-do world we live in, we won't usually FIND time to do the things that are important to us, we have to MAKE time. We all need to balance the busies with down time. Yesterday, I enjoyed a day of leisure - a yummy coffee, a walk on the beach with my husband, even time collecting shells, rocks, and driftwood, a sunset, and we ended the day with a delicious meal. Ahhhhhh rest! It's refreshing, replenishing...so good for us. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">

Coaching Question of the Day
Do you make time to rest? When's the last time you had a day of rest? 

(Note: For moms in the thick of raising your families, I know this is hard. Maybe a family walk? Or even a family meal that's been made ahead of time and just needs heating up? How about a family meal exchange? Or a family exchange...you take your friends' kids one night, they take yours another?)

My Good Man!



Just love the water!




The end of a beautiful restful day!


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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 8


31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 8



What Lies Are You Believing?


You know…you find yourself doing the very thing that you do not want to do over and over again. Maybe it’s your health. You keep promising yourself that you will go to the gym, or go for a daily walk, but you never make the time to do it. Or you say you value time with your spouse, but really it’s the one thing that you consistently move to make room for another item on your To Do list. I know…we all do this. And I was recently in the same boat.

You’ll be hearing about this more than once. Because it’s something I struggle with and I suspect I’m not alone. Busyness…a too full schedule…over commitment…saying Yes too many times…and the havoc it wreaks. Busyness throws off many of the things I say matters to me – time with God, quality time with my husband, writing, a sense of peace, to name just a few.

So if busyness is so bad for me and makes me feel guilty, stressed, and dissatisfied with my life, why do I keep getting myself overbooked? <--c comment---c--="">lick to Tweet

This past spring, I had had enough. I found myself in this crazed scurrying cycle once again. I was practically panting through my days, exhausted at the end of the day, cranky, and so unfulfilled. I needed a breakthrough!

So I booked a few sessions with my Life Coach. And she asked me a number of questions that led to the following realizations on why I was so busy. It turns out I was believing a pack of lies. Here are three of them:

  • Lie #1 - I was believing that what I do, not who I am, is what makes me worthy of being a part of a group or having friends or being loved. In other words, I have to earn my sense of belonging.
  • Lie #2 – I believe that what others want from me is more important than what I want for myself. So if I have someone else depending on me for a task, I will easily push aside what I have in mind for that time slot.
  • Lie #3 - If I don’t show up, the show will go on without me and I’ll get left behind. I have a fear of being left out. (Can you say second child syndrome?)

This was the start of my breakthrough. There was more ahead, but this was a start. Taking the time to really think about the lies that motivated my busyness and writing it down so I could further reflect on it and go a little deeper was a giant step toward a bigger breakthrough. One that even surprised me…

I’ll share that in the next installment.

Here’s a Coaching Question for You Today:
What lies are you believing that keep you from breaking through obstacles to the changes you want to make?


Let’s Get Started!
Click here for a FREE ½ hour Coaching Consultation by Phone.

And please feel free to ask me your coaching questions in the Comments.

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 7

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 7


How Can Coaching Help You?


Coaching is a process that helps you go from where you are to where you want to be.

Where do we start? Together we’ll explore your story. We’ll start by assessing where you are. We’ll identify what you love about your life and what needs some improvement. We’ll set realistic goals, using practical tools and accountability to keep you on track, so you reach your greatest potential and live the very best life you can. We’ll make sure your time, your effort, your life reflects what you care most about. <==Click to Tweet 

Maybe you can identify with one or more if the following coaching scenarios:

  • Are you going through a transition? – As the saying goes, "The only thing constant in life is change." But adapting to change isn’t always easy. Maybe you’ve recently transitioned from full-time working woman to stay-at-home mom…or you’ve raised your kids and want to transition from stay-at-home mom to what now…or you’ve moved to a new area and have to build a new community…or you’ve lost a title or job that helped define you and you’re having an identity crisis…or maybe you need a new job. I know good things are in store for you! Let’s work together to determine your next steps. 
  • Do you feel you were meant for something more?  – Does it feel like something’s missing? Are you just going through the motions of life? Getting things done that you have to get done, checking off To Dos, but you’re lacking joy and enthusiasm? Maybe it’s time to wake up your dreams and ignite your passion, to figure out what is missing so you can live out a more fulfilling and joy-filled life. 
  • Are you feeling stuck?  – We all get stuck at different points in life. As Einstein said, we keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. Comfort and sometimes fear can be powerful de-motivators. We sometimes find ourselves accepting a far less than perfect condition because we’re so afraid of the unknown, the new, fear of failure or even success. Let’s figure out what’s stopping you, establish some realistic goals, and get you moving again.
  • Are you drowning in “yesses,” trying to please others but losing your mind and yourself in the process? <== Click to Tweet People pleasers are nice people gone awry. Can you identify? You just want to be helpful. You say yes because you’re asked. And the thought of stopping and thinking, or heaven forbid, saying “NO” seems mean, or wrong, or just plain impossible. I’ve found the phrase, “The good robs from the best,” to be a life-changer. You do have a choice. You do have the power to say no, so you can focus on the things that make your heart beat faster, the things you’re uniquely gifted in, the best yesses for your life!


If there is any part of your life that you want to change, that feels off balance, that does not reflect your values and the most important people and things in your life, then Life Coaching is for you! 

Let’s Get Started!
Click here for a FREE ½ hour Coaching Consultation by Phone.

And please feel free to ask me your coaching questions in the Comments.

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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 6

31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 6



Are You Ready for a Change?


Check Out These 4 As of Coaching 
That Can Help You Reach Your Goals
 

As a Life Coach, I love helping you go from where you are to where you want to be. Maybe you need a breakthrough. Or you’re stuck. Or maybe you’re going through many of life’s transitions – from full-time career woman to stay-at-home mom, or you’re changing careers, or facing an empty nest, or you’re just thinking there is more to life than the one you’re living.

I’ve been there and worked with a Life Coach myself. She helped me focus in on areas of my life that needed a tune up. I put in the time and effort and made a conscious decision to change and she propelled me on the path toward living a more peaceful and joyful life. Now I want to help you do the same.

Coaching is a personal individualized journey that’s as unique as you are. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">

Most sessions are done by phone. Each session is 45 minutes and includes Coaching Notes and Action Steps as a follow up to the phone call.

There is no one-size-fits-all plan. But I’ve found there are 4 As of Coaching that have proven effective time and time again:

  1. Assessment - What does your life look like today? What’s working and what isn’t? What areas of your life are out of balance? Where are you stuck? Is something in your life out of whack? Where are you dissatisfied? What about your life is most satisfying? In order to know where you want to go, we have to start with where you are. 
  2. Action – Knowing our goals is the first step, getting there takes small steps that add up to big changes. So we’ll set SMART goals. These are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Reachable, and Timely goals. As you step toward achieving your goals, the process of change is set in motion. Moving forward toward the best life you can live is exhilarating and exciting!
  3. Accountability – You don’t have to go it alone! Have you ever set a goal only to forget about it within a few days? Or talked yourself out of a goal because it just seems too hard? As a life coach, I am your personal accountability partner. I’ll help you hang in there until the change you so desire happens. I’ll encourage you, cheer you on, and challenge you too. And when you come up against obstacles, together we’ll identify patterns, beliefs, and perspectives that could prevent you from moving forward. There will be no stopping you! 
  4. Achievement – Ta Da! Time to celebrate. You’ve made the investment in you. You’ve put in the time and effort, you’ve stayed the path, and YOU have reached your goals. You have moved forward on the path of living the life you were meant to live – a life of purpose, passion, and intentionality that’s uniquely yours. <--click a="" to="" tweet="">


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31 Days of Life Coaching - Day 5

31 Days of Life Coaching – Day 5


How Is Your Life Balance?
 

I became a coach because I genuinely love people, I love to hear their stories. I love helping people, and I love to be a part of helping people live their best lives. God has given us each unique gifts and we’re meant to use them. When we use our gifts to live out a life of passion and purpose, we live lives that are more thoughtful and intentional and ultimately more satisfying.

What I’ve found is the greatest obstacle to living my best life is busyness. How can I be intentional if I’m running, running, running from thing to thing? I call this scurrying. According to the dictionary, this means “move hurriedly with short quick steps.” Synonyms for scurry are hurry, hasten, run, rush, dash, scamper, scuttle, scramble. Sounds relaxing, doesn’t it?

In fact, it’s so very stressful to live the scurrying life. I feel overwhelmed, anxious, a bit panicky, and almost breathless. <==Click to Tweet

And this is exactly where I was when I first met with my life coach. It was about a year ago. I had way too much on my plate. And my partner on CirclesOfFaith.org, Kimberly Amici, had just started with this life coach. I was so impressed with the changes Kimberly was making, the order she was creating out of the chaos of ordinary busy life, the way she was prioritizing the things that mattered most to her. I decided to give it a try.

This life coach offered a free ½ hour coaching consultation with no obligation. So what the heck? There was nothing to lose.

I have to tell you that one short life coaching session was a turning point in my life. <== Click to Tweet

Here’s why:

  1. I quickly realized through a Life Balance Inventory and the discussion that followed, how off kilter I was because I had too much on my plate.
  2. Going through the coaching process, talking about my life, what matters most to me, where I was satisfied and where I felt out of balance slowed me down enough to think clearly.
  3. Once I could think clearly, I could articulate at least one thing that had to change in order for me to move closer to the more peaceful and satisfying life I desired.
  4. I had been thinking about becoming a life coach for quite a while. As I worked with my coach and experienced how effective the process was (especially because she is an excellent coach), I stopped thinking about becoming a life coach and did something about it. And that’s why I’m a certified Life Coach today. 


As I wrote that last step about becoming a Life Coach, I realized how crazy that may seem. Here I am incredibly busy and I’m adding another thing to my list? But the thing is, at the same time I’ve added life coaching, I’ve said no to lots of things I would never have said no to in the past…and that is a HUGE change in my life. So HUGE in fact, that it deserves its own post.

Here’s a Coaching Question for You Today:
Where is your life out of balance – fitness, finance, rest, relationships - and what can you do about it?


I’d love to hear from you in the comments. And feel free to ask me a coaching question.

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